They say a blog helps you get out all those feelings you could never say aloud. Where you can express all those thoughts deep inside your head, and just hope that someone out there in the internet world feels the same way as you. I know this sounds like I'm going to rant about how my life is terrible. But, alas, I will do no such thing.
So. Here 'goes.
I don't know. I've come to the point in my life where for once, I don't know who I am. I don't know where I'm meant to be, who I'm meant to be friends with, etc. I know who I WANT to be, I know where I WANT to go. And im completely satisfied with the friends I have now (hah, you though I was a lonely girl inside her apartment who does nothing but blog all day. Silly You. I have friends.). I believe that God has a plan for me. I believe that God has a plan for you too, guy reading my blog sitting at his laptop drinking a caramel frap in Starbucks. And, I believe that everything happens for a reason. No judgement, please. But sometimes I feel myself doubting these beliefs. Why so many terrible things could happen, and why would there be a reason behind them? And why was I waiting around this summer for a boy in Europe who confessed his feelings for me before he went away, all to find out he never meant a thing and had a fling with some puerto rican chick? But I'm young. So that means more chances at romance. But with these chances comes heartbreak. Because they wouldn't be called chances if all of them worked out. I know I'm getting off topic (even if this blog doesn't have a specific topic), but I'll get to the point in the next sentence. Hopefully. Whoops that was a fragment. LOL @ grammar humor. But my point is, so many things can occur in your life that will tear you down and make you search for what you lost, but before you set out on that search, you have to know what you're looking for, or you'll stop halfway through and write a blog. Heh. It's like hunting in the jungle looking for something you saw in the shadows. You're determined to find it, kill whatever it was. But soon you don't recall what that something looked like, you can't remember, start to question yourself, and break down hysterically right there in the leafy grounds beneath the trees.
Maybe that didn't make any sense to you. Or if you're like me and have that kind of complex way of thinking and looking at life then .. *applause*.
That long simile brings me back to the questions I asked in the very beginning. Those questions are me breaking down in my jungle, I can't remember what I set out to find. I've lost my target, and myself.
